“Surviving Oberlin” was a blog that was active between 2015 and 2017, where survivors shared their stories and struggles with sexual harm and gender-based violence on Oberlin’s campus. In the name of institutional memory, and continuing to shatter the silence around sexual violence, we offer this space to survivors and allies to swap stories, reflections, guidance, and strength.
Content warnings include detailed descriptions of sexual violence, experiences with Title IX processes, and the struggles that follow in the aftermath of sexual harm. Please take care of yourself, and know that SOSHA organizers are available for individualized support.
“Having a hard semester wasn't an excuse for sexual assault.”
The two men apologized, saying they'd "had a hard semester" and they attempted to apologize to me. I told them that having a hard semester wasn't an excuse for sexual assault, that I wouldn't accept their apology, that they should be ashamed of themselves and their actions, and that they should leave me the fuck alone.
I got a hospital bed and you got a lazy Sunday.
How can we measure the lengths I have had to go to mitigate the damage you have done? How will you repay my mother for the sleep she has lost? My friends, for the hours they spent consoling me or the plans they canceled to keep me company? The tears we have shed? The gas used on countless drives to clear my restless mind? The screams I have uttered. The dates I’ve canceled. The parties I’ve left. Every single heartbeat that multiplies at the sight of a potential threat.
One more bad encounter for the inventory.
Then I realize that you are not my problem anymore – but that the girls at the new school don’t know about you either. The cycle continues.
“Setting Boundaries”
I didn’t realize you had to “set boundaries” to ask people to not commit sexual harm toward you, but that’s what she told me.